Go to this page: http://spacemanleague.com/?page_id=445, Press your Ctrl and F buttons concurrently, and type the name of the player you want to pick up into the box that appears. If the player isn’t highlighted, then add away. But for Baby Jesus’s sake, check before you pick up.
Don’t make Jesse look like this:
Really.
March 20, 2011
High Noon
Pressman’s Place — NYC
Please check that your keepers are correctly entered on yahoo. You can find that by looking at the draft tab. Please, if you are concerned, check the league set-up to make sure the Commish didn’t fuck shit up. Please check your keepers and minor leaguers as listed on this website. Please prepare to be able to draft on that day either on-line or in-person, and if you will not make other arrangements and let the commish know. Any other issues can be raised as well.
Let’s have a good season.
January 8 2011
“It’s gonna be a shit-show of a year”
•Draft: Ex-Commissioner Murphy will revise to reflect correct order, which will then be sent to Spacemen
• Confirmation of Sunday, March 20th, 2011 as Draft Day
• ML draft begins Monday after Super Bowl Sunday — February 7th is first pick 24 hour window of picking, or auto-draft. Reverse order of standings, non-snaking [WK will run the auto-draft of the ML]
• Site: Until a better option with equal customization and ease of use is available, we’re back to voting on CBS vs Yahoo
“Say your name is you want CBS”
[silence]
“OK, it’s Yahoo”
[pause]
Dave motions for Sportsline!
DENIED!
Denied.
• stats for the 2011 season
Commissioners Recommended Stat Line for 2011 (8x8x1)
Hitters: OBP, TB, R, RBI, HR, KO, GiDP, SB-CS, Fld%
Pitchers: Win%, IP, ERA, K/9, OBPA, QS, HRA, S-BS
• Minnings are agreed at 45 innings per week. Each missed minning results in a $25 penalty paid to the charity of the commissioner’s choice (or two hours of [documented] community service)
–45 Add/Drops too, for no good reason other than symmetry
• Proposal for addition of a “Commissioner’s Fee,” as well as a question of turning this into a cash league with a sign-up fee, a payout system, and possibly a booby prize for last place finish.
Dock originally proposed this idea and since he’s commissioner he understands hesitancy. He has a suggestion that each team pony up 10-25 dollars that will be donated to a charity of the commissoner’s choosing (the donation will be made in the name of the spaceman league).
• Proposal to shorten the season by one week and move the finals up to occur the second-to-last week of the MLB regular season. One less regular season week/game, bump playoffs up a week.
> Playoff moves up a week, but the final last two full weeks. This makes for a four-week post-season
• League expansion. Johnny Smooth wants to return to the game. Presuming we’re not losing any teams, are we willing to expand to 18? What are the ramifications? How will the expansion draft be held? Where might another team be found to even this out? At what point do we entertain splitting into two divisions, a “top tier” and “bottom tier” structure, with relegation each year sending the bottom team from the top tier town (and the top team from the bottom tier up)?
Divisions? Pressman, Maloney, McGovern are the commission on stacked league bullshit to address for 2011. AP writes something up in plain-spoken English for Jesse to read and distribute.
NO EXPANSION
• Confirmation of keeper structure at 12 contract years per team per year, and 8 homegrown contract years per team per year
Seems universally acclaimed
Until Frank says “Guys guys guys”
“Fuck your auctions Frank!”
Space dollars!
$pacebucks
Spaceman Research Division into Theoretical Game Theory (Commissioner’s Task Force)
The Spaceman Institute for Theoretical Fantasy Baseball Research
Dynamic Organic Roster Kommittee Spacestyle (DORKS) (wakka wakka)
…
• Flex/DL slots: A success? A burden?
Can we have Flex slots on Yahoo? No. 3 DL slots, 6 minor league slots
• Roster expansion? Proposal to expand rosters to 33. Maintain flex/DL slots, or compartmentalize? Maintain active slots at 25, increase inactive slots (25-man active, 33-total slots). NO
WE STAY WITH 25 (18 “active”, 7 bench, 3 DL, 6 minors)
FUCK ALL Y’ALL
• Position eligibility requirement. Proposal to lower requirements for position eligibility: 9 last year / 6 this year
NO
9 last year / 6 this year
• Proposal to reduce the trade approval period to one day from the current three
APPROVED
• Proposal to enforce mandatory activation of players once their DL stints are over
Commissioner says FUCK YOU, MANDATORY!
Jesse = Boss Hogg
Minor anger here
David vociferous
McGovern accepts
Pressman resigned
• Mid-season Minor Leage draft schedule: August 16th beginning, with conclusion prior to September 1st call-ups.
• Proposal in support of a second path to HGCY eligiblity via add/drop (rookie free agents, if you will). Applies to players who have been promoted to the bigs only. A rookie that gets promoted can be acquired via add/drop and retain HGCY eligibility if they are acquired while still meeting our ML eligibility requirements of 100 PAs or 50 IPs. For example, if Joey Bagadonuts is an AAA player promoted to the bigs, and is unowned by any Spaceman League team, I can add him to my roster before his 100th PA and, if I retain him through the end of the year, have him be eligible for HGCY.
• We approve draft pick trades for the 2012 draft (only, no further drafts) and further we need to start an email chain about how to manage this system
• Proposal to open the market for trades between the Winter Meetings and the Keeper contract deadline
Revised to allow trading between the completion of the season and the announcements of Keepers.
OK
COME ON PEOPLE
AGREED
—
ODDS & ENDS
• Proposal to rethink or re-emphasize last year’s agreed-upon championship award. To quote from the constitution:
Year-end Celebratory Blowout will henceforth occur during the first weekend game of the World Series. The winning player will be awarded his trophy.
The previous year’s champion is required to make/acquire/steal the trophy for the new champion. In the event of a repeat championship, the rest of the league is responsible. No regifting. Nothing for Jesse’s 2009 championship, sadly.
It is agreed that a signed baseball/plaque signed by Bill Spaceman Lee (and somehow containing a message deriding fantasy baseball and/or us) should be acquired, and passed down from champion to champion, with the hand-over occurring at the Championship Celebration. We agree that we may need to grease the wheels in order to get the Spaceman to do such a thing, and that a $10 donation from each of us to a favored charity would be an agreeable thing.
UNANIMOUS APPROVAL
FIRM REITERATION
READ THE CONSTITUTION ASSHOLES
After a 4 hour 51 minute marthon of a draft, the 2010 Spaceman League is ready to begin play next week. 9 GMs were present at the Pressman abode, tearing through beer and pizza like a bear freshly woken from hibernation. Most of the other far-flung GMs attended via chatroom or call-in, with a few auto-drafters. More information to follow.
In what has to be an amazing confluence events, the finals of the Spaceman league have again finished in a statistical tie.
Whereas last year we had no tie-breaker, this year we did, in fact have a tie-breaker. Run differential
When computed, this gave the championship to what has to now be considered the first dynasty of the Spaceman League, the Dock Ellis squad.
But to know just how close this was, I tried to figure out what the differential would have been had RBIs and Runs been included for runs scored in our run differential equation and this is what happened.
Dock: 118 (R+RBI) Dilth: 116 (R+RBI)
Dock 43.82 (Runs allowed) Dilth 41.781 (Runs Allowed) (ERA*INN/9)
DOCK: 74.18 DILTH: 74.129
Meaning, that if we included RBI and rounded pitching, it would be a tie.
And if we Added R and RBI and divided by 2, then subtracted pitching, Dilthey’s win.
But that’s not the way we did it, just stuff to think about.
See, the run differential seems imperfect. I specifically sat my power bats later in the week to try and raise average and lower Ks, knowing I couldn’t win RBI. But should in the future we consider RBIs?
In addition, I think that the innings should be based on an average number of innings between the 2 teams. Should one team be punished for throwing more innings. Even though my staff threw the ball better, we could have been punished for doing it better more often… My runs allowed was higher even though my staff had the better week.
So, I guess I am saying, I am proud to be the only 3 time winner of the Spaceman league. I am considering my half of last year as a championship and that means the Dock squad has won 60% of the time. Next year when we add GM Kevin O’Rourke to the Mix we will have 4 out of 5 championships in one stable, with an asterik of course for Pressman, who has 2.
Do we split that championship Pressman (10% you, 10% me?) or do we each take (20%) and make the math all wrong. Does any of this make any sense any more?
Who had that crazy stat regression last year? I nominate whoever that was to become commish next year.
The Dock
This is late.
It was news a week ago, but here we go.
The week before last (week 15) Fuck Your Yankee Bluejeans had the worst single week of hitting so far this season. That week, FYYBJs set, or tied, season records for: fewest runs (4), fewest home runs (0), fewest RBIs (4), lowest batting average (.113), lowest on-base percentage (.208), and lowest slugging percentage (.151). This was an amazingly bad week for the Fuckers.
The more amazing thing? It followed the worst single week of pitching so far this season. In the week (week 14) immediately prior to the week of coldest bats, the Fuckers set, or tied, the season records for: fewest innings without having fewer than the minimum (40.0, a record that can be tied, but not broken), highest ERA (9.90), highest WHIP (2.08), lowest win percentage (.000), and fewest quality starts (0). This was also and amazingly bad week for the Fuckers, albeit a short one.
Why did this happen? Few changes to either active line-ups or rotations seem to indicate, rather than Dusty-like blundering ineptitude or Karamanesque savvy diving, a simple vacation, at least that’s my hope, since it could only otherwise be general disinterest/malaise.
How did this happen? There were two crucial benchings that made these the two weeks that every GM dreads: first, in week fourteen, the short week following the break, Paul Maholm was benched for a start in which he went eight innings, allowing no earned runs; second, in week fifteen, the week following the worst week of pitching from any Spaceman League team this season, Rick “The Natural” Ankiel was benched, while the injured Lance “I hate Lance Berkman” Berkman occupied the utility spot.
If I were taking a vacation, I’d have set my line-up the same way, but, in that week, Ankiel went eleven for twenty-five, while slugging .840 (that’s two home runs and four doubles). Not a bad week for a guy with only one full season as a Major League position player under his belt. On the other hand, the injured Berkman went to the plate only four times that week, though, to his credit, he hit twice, once for a double, and walked, putting up pretty impressive average stats… over those four plate appearances.
Moral: never vacation.
His eyebrows demand you stop demeaning him
Bob Buhl was a decent major league pitcher for the Braves, most famously as the third starter on the 1957 World Series Championship squad. The Saginaw, Michigan native played in over 15 seasons, making an All-Star team, led the league in shutouts once, and was top ten in era six times. Bob was known of course as the worst hitter ever, producing the only 0-for a season in major league history. That’s right…Bob was 0-70 in 1962. Goo.
The thing was, Bob was pretty bad every year. Bob even admitted it. “I was probably the worst in baseball.” And what did your teammates think? “They’d laugh at my hitting.” Ouch Bob. Well, surely you could hit something? “I couldn’t hit a curve,” he said. ”I can’t remember any pitcher I could hit.” Yessiree Bob, you were 76-857 in your career, for a whopping .089 average. I suppose we could get excited about your 2 doubles, or your 38 walks (to go along with 389 K’s), but then we’d see you .220 OPS and say, no, Bob, I’m sorry…you are the worst hitter ever.
Why the history lesson? Because if the Cambridge Royal Giants had benched their entire team on each of the last two sundays, and somehow inserted Bob fucking Buhl as their lone hitter…they would have improved on their .058 average. 3 for 51. Bob Buhl is better. Arrrrrgggghhhh!!!!
. . .
Stay tuned for next week when we compare the Royal Ginats pitching staff to Jose Lima’s 2000 season.
The Four Commissioners of the Apocalypse
CAMBRIDGE, MA- The last week of April starts a brutal four week stretch of games for the Cambridge Royal Giants, as they face off against four of the five commissioners in Spaceman League history. Despite their current status atop the league standings, the Royal Giants know that the next month will be a true barometer of the quality of their team. The Royal Giants start this week with a match-up against current Commissioner Lentini’s aptly named Heavy Lumber squad.
“Look, no one in this organization is getting ahead of themselves” said first year General Manager Burlin White. “We know we’ve had a favorable schedule, and have caught some breaks.” The Royal Giants opened against the expansion Roti’s who were without noted slapper Alex Rodriguez, battled in a tough match-up with ex co-GM Tuohey, whose fucked Yankee Bluejeans were missing Joe Mauer, and then watched as Meridian snatched defeat from the jaws of victory by missing Minnings.
“Shit, we probably didn’t desrve to win two of those weeks, so we’re not really feeling like a first place team” the loquatious GM insisted. “ Our pitching has been reprehensible, and our offense hasn’t really put together a quality week like they are capable. The talent is there, I know we can play with the big boys in this league, this next stretch is our chance to prove it.”
Of course the optimistic GM neglected to mention just how bad the pitching has been, despite his preseason claims that he could build a solid pitching staff in later rounds. The GM’s confident avowal has apparently not been forgotten by team owner Justin DeSorgher, who was recently located at famed local establishment/shithole, the Cantab Lounge. DeSorgher declined to be interviewed for this article, stating that “Sunday mornings are drinkin’ time, not talking time.” However, DeSorgher was heard to mutter to a semi-concious neighbor that “White better get Peavy and the rest of those assholes on track, or I start shiving people. Fucking Oliver Perez…shit.”
Despite his propensity for breaking lamps. GM White has been a welcome addition to the league; it would be a shame if the Brad Penny’s of the world caused him to get stabbed by his shoddy, drunken, megalomaniacal owner.
. . .
The Royal Giants play the fifth Commissioner, GM Maloney, in week 12.
11:40 AM Wilson: shiiiit, condolences on adenhart…
11:40 AM Dave: Yeah, didn’t get the win, but I think he’ll keep doing okay.
11:41 AM Wilson: mmm, sorry to be the breaker of tragic news, he died in a car crash this morning
11:41 AM Dave: Oh fuck.
11:41 AM Wilson: yeah, that’s ah…a bad one
11:41 AM Wilson: real bummer